The Agony of the Heartache
I just heard that someone I knew long ago committed suicide and left their family with broken hearts and a million questions. I can imagine what they are going through and my heart breaks for them too. I can also imagine the kinds of questions they are asking. The greatest, of course, is "why?"
Why would someone do this?
Why does it hurt so badly?
Why was he/she so selfish?
How could they leave their family?
What are we supposed to do now?
Is there any hope for them eternally?
And on and on and on...
The worst part of it all is that there are no answers. We can't say why someone would do something like this. Were they in physical pain and just wanted it to stop? Was their heart broken and the pain was too great to bear? Had they just gotten fed up with the hypocrisy they saw around them? Was it? Could it have been? Do you suppose? Ah, all the questions, but still no answers. The only real thing left to those who cared is the agony of the heartache. And what can ease that pain?
I know little canned or trite answers will never do. Saying things like, "God loves you," is not really helpful. They already know He does, even though there is now that seed of doubt. "He let them die, after all. How much could He love me?" But deep down in their hearts they know God loves them. So saying "Smile, God love you," may just make them angry and shut the doors to further dialogue. So what do we say?
I'm honestly thinking that we ought not to say anything more than "I'm sorry and I'm aching with you and praying for you." If we say this and just let them know we care and that love will find a way, then we've said enough. They will know and it will make a difference. We won't be able to explain it, so our simple, sincere, heartfelt "I'm sorry" will do more than anything else.
Just a few weeks ago, the young son of some close family friends was lying on the bed with his dying grandfather and they were not talking to each other, just lying side by side. The boy's mom, hearing nothing, whispered to her son that he needed to talk to his grandfather. The boy told her, "Mom. We're men. We don't have to talk to show that we love each other." And, of course, they didn't and the grandfather went to be with the Lord knowing deep in his soul that his grandson loved him with all his heart. We can do the same with the folks spoken of in this little blog or our loved ones who are hurting, whose struggles may be more than we can see or even understand. A little quiet love can help ease the agony of the heartache.
Why would someone do this?
Why does it hurt so badly?
Why was he/she so selfish?
How could they leave their family?
What are we supposed to do now?
Is there any hope for them eternally?
And on and on and on...
The worst part of it all is that there are no answers. We can't say why someone would do something like this. Were they in physical pain and just wanted it to stop? Was their heart broken and the pain was too great to bear? Had they just gotten fed up with the hypocrisy they saw around them? Was it? Could it have been? Do you suppose? Ah, all the questions, but still no answers. The only real thing left to those who cared is the agony of the heartache. And what can ease that pain?
I know little canned or trite answers will never do. Saying things like, "God loves you," is not really helpful. They already know He does, even though there is now that seed of doubt. "He let them die, after all. How much could He love me?" But deep down in their hearts they know God loves them. So saying "Smile, God love you," may just make them angry and shut the doors to further dialogue. So what do we say?
I'm honestly thinking that we ought not to say anything more than "I'm sorry and I'm aching with you and praying for you." If we say this and just let them know we care and that love will find a way, then we've said enough. They will know and it will make a difference. We won't be able to explain it, so our simple, sincere, heartfelt "I'm sorry" will do more than anything else.
Just a few weeks ago, the young son of some close family friends was lying on the bed with his dying grandfather and they were not talking to each other, just lying side by side. The boy's mom, hearing nothing, whispered to her son that he needed to talk to his grandfather. The boy told her, "Mom. We're men. We don't have to talk to show that we love each other." And, of course, they didn't and the grandfather went to be with the Lord knowing deep in his soul that his grandson loved him with all his heart. We can do the same with the folks spoken of in this little blog or our loved ones who are hurting, whose struggles may be more than we can see or even understand. A little quiet love can help ease the agony of the heartache.
posted by Josiah Tilton at 12:43 PM
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